March Book Review+ Women Race and Class

I decided to read Angela Y. Davis’ Women Race and Class because I wanted to celebrate her as an inspirational black woman. Do believe this is her first book. Surprisingly, I’ve never read it. I need some knowledge and inspiration this month. I guess you could call it a quarter life crisis or just my depression creeping back up but either way I’m trying to pull myself out of a hole of self-loathing.

I think the tough thing for me is remembering that everyone has a different life path. Last year I went through something really traumatic. I was abused everyday and had to live in a domestic violence shelter. I had a conversation with my therapist about how I feel left behind because my friends are growing in their careers. It’s silly because I’m doing awesome things as well. I won a fellowship for a writer’s residency. My therapist made the point that is having a degree a big deal? I’m doing great things already without one. But my mind always goes back to black excellence. Doesn’t having a degree equal black excellence in the black community? Am I really doing my community any good? Am I setting a good example?

I’m still trying to figure things out and maybe things will just fall into place. All I know is that I love being a writer and right now that’s the only thing I can hold onto right now.

Finding Happiness+How I’m Moving Forward

 

“So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.”- F. Scott Fitzgerald

I’ll be completely honest with you all and tell you that a couple of weeks ago I went through something extremely traumatic. It’s amazing how abuse always makes its way into my life. From having an abusive ex to this current situation (which I won’t be discussing on my blog).

But I’ve made the decision not to allow anyone to hurt me anymore, not emotionally and not physically, not ever. I won’t let anyone humilate me, or make fun of me, or talk down to me.  I don’t deserve that and there will never be a time in my life when I will deserve that.

Ironically with my 25th birthday coming in May I feel as though I’m entering a new chapter in my life:finally.

I sleep better, I’m able to eat better, and I overall feel better. I know that I won’t be healed overnight because even with my growth I still get the ocassional knot in my stomach. My heart flutters and my appetite may go away in a quick second only to return.

But I can only move forward and get stronger. I can only live this new life and never look back.

I truly believe that one day I will be the best version of myself. I’ll smile the way I used to. I won’t have nightmares. I won’t be afraid of the outside world. I’ll be okay.