I decided to read Angela Y. Davis’ Women Race and Class because I wanted to celebrate her as an inspirational black woman. Do believe this is her first book. Surprisingly, I’ve never read it. I need some knowledge and inspiration this month. I guess you could call it a quarter life crisis or just my depression creeping back up but either way I’m trying to pull myself out of a hole of self-loathing.
I think the tough thing for me is remembering that everyone has a different life path. Last year I went through something really traumatic. I was abused everyday and had to live in a domestic violence shelter. I had a conversation with my therapist about how I feel left behind because my friends are growing in their careers. It’s silly because I’m doing awesome things as well. I won a fellowship for a writer’s residency. My therapist made the point that is having a degree a big deal? I’m doing great things already without one. But my mind always goes back to black excellence. Doesn’t having a degree equal black excellence in the black community? Am I really doing my community any good? Am I setting a good example?
I’m still trying to figure things out and maybe things will just fall into place. All I know is that I love being a writer and right now that’s the only thing I can hold onto right now.
It’s so important to support women owned brands and businesses. I have another amazing subscription box to review for you. It’s the Woman Up Box and every product in the box is created by women. Awesome, right? The box I received was the June box because they still had some extras. I’m not sure if they still do but don’t let that discourage you from subscribing to them to get a box because once I go into detail about everything you’ll want one so bad.
This tea is so good (of course it was the first product I tried). It’s light and refreshing and great as an iced tea.
I’ve never used a sugar scrub but this is so cool. It really made my skin softer and the smell isn’t overly sweet.
I’m saving these color-yourself-cards for something special. But how cute are the mini pencils?
It has a great tit and an even better scent. I’m in love. I also get to add another lip balm to my lip balm collection.
There’s nothing like having a quirky little pocket mirror to give you a boost of confidence. It even comes with a protector so the crumbs at the bottom of my purse won’t ruin it.
If you’re a fan of sweets then these treats are definitely meant for you. They’re a nice sweet for those moments when you’re feeling nostalgic.
This perfect little stone is a worry stone. There’s a part in it meant for you to rub when you’re worried or anxious. I’ll be rubbing this a lot.
I’m in love this necklace. They’re actually Mala beads or prayer beads. I’ve done a little of research and they’re meant to keep you grounded, which we all need more of.
I hope you give Woman Up Box a chance. They’re a great company and their mission is incredible.
*I was sent this box to review. All opions are my own.
There’s no secret that I suffer from bladder incontinence. Because of this, I have to take precautions to ensure I don’t have a leak. Icon was kind enough to send me some of their underwear to try out.
These aren’t your typical underwear. These have a cool lining that catches the leaks you have throughout the day. The underwear leaves you dry and odorless. I love them and decided to do my review on my YouTube channel. It would mean a lot to me if you subscribed HERE. Also, let me know what videos you would like to see in the future.
This past Saturday I attended the Women’s March on Cleveland and it was an empowering experience. I met so many people and learned so much about myself and how feminism benefits my life. I’ve never been more proud of being a feminist.
But I have also learned that people who I thought cared about justice and kindness really don’t, because of this I’ve reconsidered friendships. Do I really want a friend that doesn’t believe that people should be treated with respect? Do I really want a friend who doesn’t believe that people of color are treated unfairly? Do I really want a friend who believes that a woman has no rights to her own body? Do I need a friend who ignores the LGBTQ and disabled communities troubles? I’ve been asking myself a lot of questions lately, but I have not been questioning my intersectional feminism.
With everything that’s going on I believe that we have fight harder and keep our causes close to us. We can’t give up.
I’m still learning a lot about my sexuality and being confident in my decisions. With past boyfriends I often felt like I had to do things because it was what you did in a relationship, relationships don’t mean making only one person happy. It’s about being comfortable on both sides. I used to have a screwed up perception that if I wasn’t with a boy in a relationship and wanted to only be physically be with him, it made me “easy” or a “slut”. In high school me and other girls consistently refereed to each other as sluts and whores, or easy.
“Easy” is only a word given to make women feel ashamed of exploring their sexuality. If you’re giving your consent and feel 100% comfortable with your partner then that’s completely okay, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you.
Even after embracing my feminism and sexuality I still have those awful thoughts. A few months ago I was with a guy who I was interested in and even though nothing sexual happened I still asked myself “does he think I’m easy?”. Granted he turned out to be completely different and we haven’t talked since then. But there is no reason to punish myself for exploring what I want to explore when I give my consent and I feel comfortable. There is also no reason to make other women feel ashamed of embracing their own sexuality. We have to get the terms “easy” and “slut” out of our vocabulary. We’ve all done it and we’re still learning so it’s okay.
We have to stop putting each other down. Sex is natural. Consented sex is amazing. If you want to do it go for it with no regrets and no questions on if you are “easy” or a “slut” because those words don’t exist.
I’m a feminist but I’m also a disabled woman. I’m also a woman of color but that’s a post for another day. I bring this up because even though I’m a feminist I have to admit that there are flaws in feminism. Before you disagree with me please realize that flaws are everywhere. We are flawed creatures, things that we believe in are flawed as well. But flaws can be fixed.
The one flaw I see in feminism is the lack of support for disabled women. Here’s the thing about the flaw, being a disabled woman sets up different inequality issues. Some people see disabled women as being weaker than other women. We’re seen as incapable of caring for ourselves or having a spouse.
I don’t think other feminists are purposely leaving out disabled women. I think like most people they are just unaware of the struggles we have to face. For instance , some men think it’s a privilege for them to talk to me. Cat-calling goes to a completely different level. Cat-calling is a whole issue in itself, but when it’s being done to a disabled woman it becomes more dangerous. As history has shown some men believe that women are weak and unable to protect themselves, or at least protect themselves correctly. So the stereotype is that disabled women are not able to defend themselves at all. Because of this some men take cat-calling to another level and often try to overpower the woman physically, especially if she has a physical disability.
I can’t count the amount of times men have told me that I’m not a “real woman ” solely because I’m in a wheelchair. For one thing I’m sure you all can agree that the term “real woman” is offensive and plain out rude. People also tend to believe that disabled women are not able to have a healthy sex life and that we sit in our rooms crying because we are not able to fulfil are sexual wants. I can tell you this is not true.
However, I’ve read an article recently about disabled women hiring men to satisfy their sexual needs. Would I ever do that, no, but not because I don’t agree with it. I’ve just always enjoyed relationships more than hookups. I bring this up because a feminist woman said that this wasn’t right because it made disabled women look insecure and weak ( something close to that). And here is my issue with her claim, I do believe that she is not disabled, so she can not make those claims. I do like that some feminists are trying defend disabled feminists but unless you are disabled you can not truly understand. It would have been better if she talked to a disabled woman who paid for sex and asked how she felt about it. I’ve been hearing about this for years and have only heard positive things. These women aren’t hiring prostitutes off the street, these men are actually coming from agencies that train them. These women are not incompetent, they are very capable of spending their money and enjoying their sex lives. This of course is only in European countries as of right now.
What I want from other feminists is for them to realize that we are dealing with the same inequality issues with a different twist. I want them to include us fully in the fight for inequality without trying to speak for us and letting us express our needs and what things are really bothering us. But even with this I am very happy to be a feminist. I am happy to be apart of a movement that is trying to give equality for not just women but EVERYONE.