Get Her Look+Meghan Markle

I hate to admit it but I’m that person that follows the royal weddings even though I’m American. But to my defense, the royal wedding coming up is kind of a big deal because Prince Harry is marrying the gorgeous American actress Meghan Markle. I’ll be honest I’ve never watched an episode of Suits in my life but I’m sure Meghan is great on it. I will say that I love her style. It’s clean, chic, and minimal.

 

Before the Royal wedding on May 19th ( my 26th birthday by the way) I wanted to give you all a guide on how to get her style. So I chose some pieces that you all could buy to recreate one of her looks from the royal tour her and Prince Harry have been on. This particular look is from their stop in Northern Ireland. I love this outfit for two reasons. The first reason is that there’s not a lot going on but it looks well put together. The second reason is that the green from her skirt really makes this pop. This would be a great outfit for spring. If it was actually Spring here in Ohio.

The photo does not belong to me

I’ll keep this post short and sweet and of course, I’ll include links to all of the items. ENJOY!

 

1. Purchase Here

2. Purchase Here

3. Purchase Here

4. Purchase Here

5. Purchase Here

 

 

Finding Happiness+How I’m Moving Forward

 

“So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.”- F. Scott Fitzgerald

I’ll be completely honest with you all and tell you that a couple of weeks ago I went through something extremely traumatic. It’s amazing how abuse always makes its way into my life. From having an abusive ex to this current situation (which I won’t be discussing on my blog).

But I’ve made the decision not to allow anyone to hurt me anymore, not emotionally and not physically, not ever. I won’t let anyone humilate me, or make fun of me, or talk down to me.  I don’t deserve that and there will never be a time in my life when I will deserve that.

Ironically with my 25th birthday coming in May I feel as though I’m entering a new chapter in my life:finally.

I sleep better, I’m able to eat better, and I overall feel better. I know that I won’t be healed overnight because even with my growth I still get the ocassional knot in my stomach. My heart flutters and my appetite may go away in a quick second only to return.

But I can only move forward and get stronger. I can only live this new life and never look back.

I truly believe that one day I will be the best version of myself. I’ll smile the way I used to. I won’t have nightmares. I won’t be afraid of the outside world. I’ll be okay.

My Baby Sister+Growing Up

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Yesterday my baby sister turned 17. I always say to myself that she is the best gift my mother has ever given me. When I was 4 my mother met a man and married him. When I was 6, CJ (my baby sister)was born. I was so excited because not only did I have a sibling. I had a new friend. When I met her after my mom gave birth I promised myself to protect and love her forever.

When she was a baby I would steal kisses from her and cry at school because I missed her. When she would cry I would wipe her tears away and to make her smile I would play games with her.

At an early age CJ who we sweetly call “The Baby” showed the world her personality. She was witty, outspoken, and strong. Qualities she still have. It’s hard to believe that the little baby I liked to hold is a young woman, ready to conquer this world.

The qualities she holds close to her makes me love her so much. She believes in equality and respect. She also never let’s tough situations break her. She’s a great person, I love her a lot. I hope this world is ready for an extraordinary young woman. Happy belated birthday CJ, I love you.

If you would like to learn more about CJ, check out her blog.

My Summer Beauty Essentials

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I’m not saying this to brag, but I rarely wear makeup. I can go weeks without applying a bit of it. Lip balm is my go to “beauty” item usually.  But I am trying to change that. Normally I stick to a red lipstick and a cat eye that can be minimal or dramatic depending on how steady my hand is.

Growing up as a teenager I was spared the “gift” of acne and only used acne wash when companies sent me products and I had a small breakout. I’m a twenty-something now and my skin is starting to change. I get acne breakouts and my skin is more oily than usual. I decided to start taking more care of the skincare and beauty side of the spectrum. I’m trying to remember to take off my makeup before bed, and making my own beauty routine.

Since my beauty laziness is still a strong characteristic of mine, I’m taking baby steps. Here are some of my favorite products that I plan on using for the summer and beyond.

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Black Radiance pressed powder-Golden Almond

This is a pressed powder from Black Radiance in shade “golden almond”. I picked this up at CVS after doing a photo shoot and realizing I didn’t own a foundation. I like a pressed powder better because it’s light and I don’t feel like I have to go through a long and exaggerated foundation routine. It works for my lifestyle.

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Wet n Wild-Sugar Plum Fairy

Lipstick is my love. I own quite a few of them. I own one expensive brand and the rest are drugstore brands. I love Wet n Wild and I always pick up one of their lipsticks when I stop in CVS. I’m trying to gravitate towards more colors than red, so I fell in love with is berry color. Its a great pop for the summer and is matte without drying out my lips.

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Chanel Chance

I love Chanel, my dream bag is a 2.55 bag but until then I have to settle for fragrances. This bottle was a gift from friend Alex from perryrosereport.blogspot.com. I also have another Chanel fragrance but this is my favorite.

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Nirvana Nude lip gloss

This beauty was a gift my my closest friend Madison from  chicandchai.com. It’s apart of a set actually from Elizabeth and James aka the Olsen twins. I’ve only had this for a couple of days but it has already been made into an essential. The gloss is a true nude only giving a shine and anything but sticky consistency. I’ll probably wear this daily.

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Elizabeth and James black Nirvana

I actually owned this perfume last year but ran out of it. Madison surprised me for my birthday with this and the lip gloss. This is a warm vanilla, violet, and sandalwood mixture that makes me fall in love with it every time I put it on. I love the rollerball because of its ease to carry around. I switch between this and my Chanel.

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These sunglasses were a birthday gift to myself. I needed some new ones and I’ve been hearing for years that it’s important to protect the skin around your eyes. The Sun can cause wrinkles and the sunglasses block it from happening. These black and gold cateye beauties were picked up from Amazon ( my addiction). I feel like such a badass wearing them, even though the most rebellious thing I do is add way too much cream to my tea.

I hope you all enjoyed this post. Expect to see more posts like this!

Fears+Evolution

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Photo by me

The time in my life where fears didn’t cloud my mind doesn’t exist, or at least I can’t remember it.I had my first anxiety attack when I was 7. As a kid I thought I had every serious disease known to mankind. I developed new fears everyday. When I was 9 I convinced myself that I would choke to death on whatever food I ate. This led me to “pretend” to eat my meals and secretly only drink liquids. This went on for two weeks. From the age of 13-16 I had to make sure everything was and an even number, everything down to the tiles on the floor. If not bad things were sure to happen( just wanted to add that bad things never happened). When I was seventeen and I was really diagnosed with a disease (diabetes ) my fears sort of stopped. I figured I finally got sick and even with me being obsessed with being careful and having anxiety throughout the day I still got sick and all I could do is live with this new disease and control it.

Of course with the new disease more depression and anxiety  came with it. I developed an exhausting habit of making sure the nutrional facts on food packages were always turned away from me. This drove me nuts and I honestly did not stop until I was 20. And I’m still recovering from the diagnosis especially with my stay in the icu, I am in the process of gaining control over my thoughts( and there’s a lot of them).

Evolving scares me, or the lack of it does. The fear that I will always be stuck in the same place scares me. Lack of growth, lack of change. Which is ironic because change worries me a lot too. I want change in my life the kind of change everyone wants. I want to be a successful writer , I want to be financially free to just live, I want love, and the one thing that I have never questioned is that I want to be a mother. I’ve questioned love, having a great career, being an amazing writer, but I have never questioned being a mother.

With my birthday approaching next Tuesday I feel more sad than happy. Sad because as I look at my accomplishments, I wonder if I even really have any. I’m not where I thought I would be, and with my 23rd birthday being next week I feel worried that my life will never be what I dream of and work so hard for.

Fear is such an ugly thing, or at least it is for me. Fear of the physical and fear of the achievements we want.

Birthday Wishlist+Turning 23

My 23rd birthday is next month, and I really don’t want to do much. Just get my free drink from Starbucks and maybe go for a walk and explore Pittsburgh a little bit more since I am a resident here now. I wanted to do a wishlist because they’re fun to do and I am currently doing laundry and trying to get rid of a lot of built up anxiety, so lets dive right in:

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Okay, I can’t believe I’m going to say this. I’m homesick. I miss Cleveland, I’m not sure if it’s my anxiety or maybe I really just miss my hometown, but I REALLY miss my hometown (not that I’m moving back). I want this jacket because I want something that will remind of where I grew up and how Cleveland made me the tough person (even though I don’t realize it most of time) I am. And it’s really just cute!

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I just really need another electric kettle for my tea. My other one gave up on me and my tea addiction.

 

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Nirvana Black is my FAVORITE perfume and I ran out, so a replacement would be nice.

 

Okay guy’s that’s all I really want.

It’s funny because as you get older your wishlist becomes shorter. I can’t believe I’m going to be 23, I just hope for a better birthday this year.

Turning 23+Halloween

Two Halloween's ago. I was the Corpse Bride
Two Halloween’s ago. I was the Corpse Bride

 

I’m 22. Next May I will be 23. Let’s hope it doesn’t suck.  Birthday’s are weird for me, mostly because I’m never really happy on them. But 23 should be different, right?  It should be different because I’m learning how to control my anxiety and become a happier person. My 22nd birthday was awful. If it wasn’t for my sister and mother I don’t know how I would have gotten through it. Two weeks prior to it, Ice King dumped me. That meant the plans we made went down the drain, which meant I was left alone. This is what I did for my 22nd birthday:

Woke up in tears

Got a free drink from Starbucks

Went to the library

came home and cried

Ate chocolate cupcakes

Slept half the day

woke up and cried

went to bed and cried

Sad, right? Some of you might I just wanted pity, or that I was a cry baby, and maybe you’re right. The point is, I don’t ever want to have a birthday like that again. Next May I want to be with the people I love, I want to eat chocolate cupcakes without my tears ruining them. I want to have fun. I want to be happy.

 

And that brings me to Halloween. I think I previously mentioned that last Halloween I was in the ICU. For the past couple of weeks I’ve been having awful anxiety attacks. I’ve been afraid of being sick again. It’s something I’m dealing with, and talking about. I talked to my mother about it and now I feel a lot better. I don’t want to be alone that day. I want to hangout with awesome people, and not think about the negative, or the previous year. I want to be happy.

MY 22ND BIRTHDAY

fada11058f56b5c3c3c1b036da8994e6ee92bc8121609a2205edc04d0a16162b Hey guys! Sorry I haven’t posted lately. Today is my 22nd Birthday, not doing anything special, but I did want to let you all know I will be posting soon!