I’m Having Surgery+Life Update

This photo is old but I promise to take some new ones

If there was an award for best blogger I wouldn’t even be nominated. But I’m trying to get back into the swing of things. I’m pretty impressed with the interest you all showed in my last post.

You all definitely deserve a life update. As most of you already know, I suffer from bladder leakage and it’s not getting better. I’ve tried so many different ways to control it. But now I have to have a small operation early in May. It’s actually really cool because Botox will be injected into the wall of my bladder. Right now my bladder is constantly moving and can’t hold any liquid. So the Botox will make it chill out.

It’s normally a 30 minute procedure done in the doctors office but since I have to have my urethra stretched to get the scope and catheter to fit I have to be sedated.

As much as I’m excited (because this basically life changing) I’m also nervous. As a baby I’ve had lots of surgeries but I don’t remember them. So in a way this is all new to me. I’m nervous about a lot of things. The anesthesia, the procedure, the recovery. I’m so excited but my nerves are getting the best of me.

What tips do you all have? I’ll definitely keep you all updated!

March Book Review+ Women Race and Class

I decided to read Angela Y. Davis’ Women Race and Class because I wanted to celebrate her as an inspirational black woman. Do believe this is her first book. Surprisingly, I’ve never read it. I need some knowledge and inspiration this month. I guess you could call it a quarter life crisis or just my depression creeping back up but either way I’m trying to pull myself out of a hole of self-loathing.

I think the tough thing for me is remembering that everyone has a different life path. Last year I went through something really traumatic. I was abused everyday and had to live in a domestic violence shelter. I had a conversation with my therapist about how I feel left behind because my friends are growing in their careers. It’s silly because I’m doing awesome things as well. I won a fellowship for a writer’s residency. My therapist made the point that is having a degree a big deal? I’m doing great things already without one. But my mind always goes back to black excellence. Doesn’t having a degree equal black excellence in the black community? Am I really doing my community any good? Am I setting a good example?

I’m still trying to figure things out and maybe things will just fall into place. All I know is that I love being a writer and right now that’s the only thing I can hold onto right now.

Breakfast at Tiffany’s+Inspiration

Good morning! It’s a bit after midnight and I’m up watching Breakfast at Tiffany’s. You all won’t read this post until a decent time today. I love watching this movie. The older I get the more I understand Holly Golightly.

I love this film because just like other old films it eases what ever trace of anxiety I have (but tonight I’m having trouble sleeping). Everything from the custom Givenchy clothes that Audrey Hepburn wore with such grace, to the opening scene where she’s eating a crossaint and sipping coffee ( my favorite thing to do in college was to eat a crossaint and sip coffee while exploring downtown Pittsburgh).

This film only reminds me not to take things so serious. Relax and enjoy life. Holly is such a carefree character. Yes, she’s hiding from her past but she knows exactly what she wants.

What classic films do you like to watch?

Virginia Woolf+Life Update

Did you all know that today would have been Virginia Woolf’s 136th birthday. I’m a huge fan of her work and what she believed in. Lately, I’ve been very passionate about my career and where I want to go with it. Last year put me back a bit, but I’m ready to conquer the world and make a name for myself.

This year so far has been very interesting. I’m finally feeling mentally healthy and I feel like I can control my anxiety and depression. My OCD is so in control now. Life brings unexpected surprises and the main surprise for me this year is falling in love with the most incredible man. I can’t wait to see where we go and how we grow.

I’m grateful for the relationship I have with my mom and sister and how much we’ve grown from the traumatic experiences we dealt with last year. I feel like things are finally coming together.

Virginia Woolf once said “My own brain is to me the most unaccountable of machinery – always buzzing, humming, soaring roaring diving, and then buried in mud. And why? What’s this passion for?”

I’m going to take this passion and make it into something that will change my life.

Writer’s Residency+Update

I don’t think I’ve told you all that a few weeks ago I was unexpectantly invited to stay at Ragdale in Illinois for almost a month. long story short I applied in the spring but wasn’t accepted, a few weeks ago I received an email congratulating me on receiving the Creative Access Fellowship. Of course, I accepted it, I wanted it, but something kept popping up in my mind. I would be away from my mom and sister.

As you all know by now my family and I had to live in a domestic violence shelter for a good chunk of the year and for the other part of it we were homeless and abused daily. It wasn’t until August we had found a home of our own and could finally leave the shelter. This is the first time this year I’ve been away from my mom and sister. We’ve been together every step of the way during this tough year. I miss them and I know I’ll miss them every day but I also know that I have to do what will help my career. I’ve been given a wonderful gift and that is time to do what I’ve loved since I was a little girl.

I at a strange point in my career. I’ve been doing journalism and nonfiction since graduating high school, but before that I only wrote fiction, now I’m getting back into fiction (science fiction and horror) and to be honest I’m stuck, worried, and I’m trying to build up the confidence.  I just keep thinking to myself “I can do more then review a face mask, I can write good fiction if I really work hard at it” but that’s easier said than done.

I’m only 25 and I’m still figuring myself out and I’ll probably be figuring myself out for awhile, that’s life right? All I know is that I want to be a writer. I want to change the world in some way, I don’t know how yet. I want to make a difference.

Today I got up really early (5 am early) and got started on my day. I had cereal and fruit for breakfast and tea of course. I did my brand new “travel skincare routine” (I basically used my Chanel eye mask all over my face because I have no other moisturizer and I forgot my regular products back at home) and I decided to write but the weird thing is I couldn’t. As much as I tried I found myself just staring at the screen of my computer. I keep telling myself not to put pressure on myself but I was chosen for a reason and I should use this time wisely but all I could do today was read. Hopefully, tomorrow is better.

I Was Abused And Homeless+My Story

I wanted to share with you all something my family and I had to deal with these past few months. Back in April we had to escape our abusers and had to live in a domestic violence for five months.

It was one the hardest times in my life. But we made it through. Now we’re trying to rebuild our lives. Millions of people deal with abuse. Abuse can happen to anyone and there isn’t one type of abuse.

Living in the shelter helped a lot but we also dealt with abuse there.It was hard but it made me realize that assertiveness changes everything along with knowing what you deserve.

I hope this helps anyone who needs it.

http://www.thehotline.org/help/

https://ncadv.org/get-help

Merkaela+Review

“PAST AND FUTURE ARE IN THE MIND ONLY — I AM NOW.”

Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

I love products that are natural and that make me feel good all around. I like finding ways to meditate while doing everyday things. I like to smell the fragrance on my wrist. I like to enjoy the routine of making a cuppa. I like to massage my lotion into my skin without rushing. It’s about enjoying the small things and not thinking so much about that upcoming deadline or past mistake. It’s about being present in the moment.

I’m very excited because Merkaela gave me the opportunity to not only try their products from the summer box but to also work on my meditation. The environment I live in is a highly stressful place and it’s hard a lot of the times to feel grounded and present. I’ve been doing meditation more lately to help my anxiety. A big thing for me is just enjoying the little things in my life-and just taking time out of the day to just breathe.

Merkaela is a subscription box that sends you out really amazing handmade and natural products. Instead of getting a box every month you instead get one every season.

JASMINE PALO SANTO MEDITATION ELIXIR

I love this spray. I use this when I feel anxious. It helps ground me and allows me to remember that I am present and I am okay. The smell is amazing, it’s light and not overpowering. I use it on my bed and as a fragrance.

TANGERINE & SAGE SHEA BODY BUTTER

Please order the box so you’re able to try this incredible body butter. Lately, I have had dry skin and I think it’s because of stress.This helps so much and smells so good. It has a very earthy which I love even more. A little goes a long way with this jar of goodness.

HIBISCUS TEA POTION

I feel bad about not having the opportunity to try this tea yet but unfortunately, I don’t have a tea infuser because I had to throw out the one I had been using. 😦  But here is what Merkaela say’s about it: “The ultimate wellness blend for the Summer. It is refreshing, hydrating and with high levels of Vitamin C. More importantly, it helps raise conscious awareness to higher levels in order to bring you closer to what it is needed in your life or let go of what no longer serves you.”- Merkaela

PEPPERMINT SOAP BAR

This product smells so good! I haven’t used it yet but I am saving it for a very special bath.

 

PINK LEMURIAN CRYSTAL

I love crystals and I’m very happy about adding this beauty to my collection.

 

SACRED SAGE SMUDGE STICK

I can’t wait to use this.

 

CALENDULA LEMON SALT BATH

I haven’t had the chance to use this yet either because I currently only have a roll-in shower. But as soon ass I get into my new place I ‘ll be using this and enjoying it. It smells so good.

Definitely get you a box so you can experience all of these incredible products. If you reserve the summer box you’ll get 10% off your first order.

 

 More discount codes for you all:

  • ALIVE15 – For 15% off our Quarterly Subscription (Month to Month)
  • ALIVE20 – For 20% off our Yearly Subscription

 
 

*I was sent these products to review, all opinions are my own.

Anxiety And OCD+Life Update

With the recent passing of Chester Bennington I thought I would be open with you all about a recent diagnosis and something my family and I’ve been through. 

I have finally gotten medication to treat my OCD and anxiety. For a long time I’ve just been going to counseling. It has helped tremendously but my therapist and I agreed that meds would be beneficial to my treatment. I always want to be honest with you all and share my mental health with you all. I think it’s important for others to know that they’re not alone. 

My family and I have had to live in a domestic violence shelter because we had to flee our abusers. I’ll go more into detail about that in a future post.

I really want to talk about this because I don’t want anyone to feel alone. Sometimes it become a lot, trust me I know. You may be at your lowest but know that you’re not alone. Mental illness is nothing you should be ashamed of. So many people live with it. It doesn’t matter which one you have, you’re human and you deserve kindness and understanding just like anyone else.

This wasn’t a planned post so I apologize if I seem to be rambling. I just want to make sure none of you feel alone. 

National Suicide Prevention Hotline

Call 1-800-273-8255

Available 24 hours everyday

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

Woman Up Box+Review

It’s so important to support women owned brands and businesses. I have another amazing subscription box to review for you. It’s the Woman Up Box and every product in the box is created by women. Awesome, right? The box I received was the June box because they still had some extras. I’m not sure if they still do but don’t let that discourage you from subscribing to them to get a box because once I go into detail about everything you’ll want one so bad.

This tea is so good (of course it was the first product I tried). It’s light and refreshing and great as an iced tea.

I’ve never used a sugar scrub but this is so cool. It really made my skin softer and the smell isn’t overly sweet.

I’m saving these color-yourself-cards for something special. But how cute are the mini pencils?

It has a great tit and an even better scent. I’m in love. I also get to add another lip balm to my lip balm collection.

There’s nothing like having a quirky little pocket mirror to give you a boost of confidence. It even comes with a protector so the crumbs at the bottom of my purse won’t ruin it.

If you’re a fan of sweets then these treats are definitely meant for you. They’re a nice sweet for those moments when you’re feeling nostalgic.

This perfect little stone is a worry stone. There’s a part in it meant for you to rub when you’re worried or anxious. I’ll be rubbing this a lot.

I’m in love this necklace. They’re actually Mala beads or prayer beads. I’ve done a little of research and they’re meant to keep you grounded, which we all need more of.

 

I hope you give Woman Up Box a chance. They’re a great company and their mission is incredible.

 

 

 

*I was sent this box to review. All opions are my own.

Box Of Shadows+Review

Being Wiccan and being a witch are two really big parts of my life. When I’m having a bad day (like today) these two things make it easier for me. I guess that goes for anyone who practices a religion. I was really excited to work with Box of Shadows.

Box of Shadows is this really cool subscription box that sends you Wiccan products right to your home monthly. There are three different types of boxes you can choose from the Initiate box, the Priestess box, or the Supreme box. It’s filled with tools and pieces for your altar.


As you can see I received a lot in my Supreme box. I’m really excited to put all of the things on my altar once I move into my new place. I also excited to have gotten this book in the box because I really want to celebrate Litha this year and the book gives a lot of amazing tips plus recipes. I’ve been loving all things lavender lately so I’m very happy about the incense. Overall I’m very pleased with the box. I think it’s a great way to practice your craft and learn more about it.

Box of Shadows is really sweet and offered you all a discount code for 10% off your first box and free shipping. The code is: SABOS

I’m really happy with this box and I would definitely buy myself one in the future.

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*I received this box to review. All opinions are my own.