I thought I would share my experiences with dating apps. As you all know I’m in a wheelchair because of sacral agenesis. If you’re new to my blog and didn’t know that, welcome new friend!
I’ll just jump right in. Dating in a wheelchair is hard, dating in a wheelchair by using dating apps is even harder. At least for me. Since coming out as bisexual it’s a bit more difficult.
Here’s the first thing that most disabled people have to deal with: deciding if you’re going to upload a photo of your disability. In the beginning I was too nervous to show my wheelchair. But eventually I realized that it was no point in hiding who I was. I’m in a wheelchair, so what? Well, including to many men, so plenty. I would also like to point out that I’ve only dated men so far, so this post is only about men.
I even put in my bio that I’m in a wheelchair. Just to steer clear of confusion. Not like that helps, because there’s always that one guy that says “oh, I didn’t realize you were disabled, sorry I can’t date someone who can’t walk.”
Some of these things I’m going to post are really offensive and the language is disgusting but these things were actually said to me by men on dating apps we all use.
“Were you born in a wheelchair or was it an accident, because it makes a difference?”
“Sorry, I don’t date cripples.”
“I don’t date cripples, if the pussy doesn’t work there’s no point.”
These are just some of the messages I have received. As you can imagine they are hurtful and seriously discouraging for me.
With a generation that relies heavily on dating apps and hookups, where do disabled millennials fit in? Why do people still find it hard to believe that disabled individuals are fully capable of having a great sex life?
Dating outside of the internet is just as difficult, for me at least. Being a disabled woman is hard because not only are you looking for the right person but you’re making sure that person doesn’t have a fetish for your disability.
Honestly, I just want someone who isn’t embarrassed to hold my hand in public. Someone who isn’t embarrassed by the stares we will get in public. Someone who realizes that my wheelchair doesn’t take away from me being a woman.
I don’t think people without disabilities realize how much those small things mean to me.
What are your thoughts?