A Hard Time+The Robbery


 

Photo by me
Photo by me

I was going to make a video about this but I don’t have a quiet place to film and feel..secure and vulnerable.

If you’re new to my blog my family was robbed a couple of weeks ago after returning from a trip to our hometown. Thank the goddesses we were not there but the incident has left an emptiness in me. The thought of someone in our personal space makes me feel queasy.We still don’t know who did it so that is frightening also. I would probably be a lot worse if it weren’t for Kelly, Madison, and my family. I’ve been trying so hard to push this behind me but it comes out unexpectedly. For example, a friend at a meeting asked me how I was doing because she was concerned, I was grateful for that, but it showed me that it’s time to stop trying to act like this never happened.

What scares me most of all is that the criminals are still out there. I don’t care about the material things they took from us. I care about the peace of mind they stole from the three of us.

It’s so hard for me to function right now. My anxiety is awful. I get nervous if I hear noises in my room from people or things late at night. I jump anytime I hear a door slam. I’m so cautious of my surroundings now. Because in my mind I think that the thieves must know us and we’re next in their criminal spree. I can’t sleep and I like to be alone with my thoughts for the most part. I didn’t think this would make me feel so scared, but I feel anxious all the time.

Like I said, without my two best friends and family my anxiety would probably we a lot worse.

I’m not very happy right now, so me and Madison came up with a plan to help with my anxiety. School is making me stressed right now so I need an outlet. Something that I really love. Madison and I thought of a plan for this. I love this blog and I love YouTube, I want to do both as a career. With my journalism degree I’ll be even better at both. My goal is to make them both my career. When I was fashion blogging it was a career. I got a lot from doing fashion blogging. Most of all I loved doing it. I know if I stick with this I’ll be able to do it again, I’ll be even better this time.

I need time to heal. I need less stress. I need understanding people around me, I need people who care.

I’m so happy I have you all.

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