Overwhelmed+Space


I listen to this song when I need “space”. Hope it can help you all too!
I actually just deleted a post and I’m now starting over. I wanted to talk about my life. Lately, I’ve felt like I’ve been drowning. But not panicking, I’ve been able to make it without sinking to the bottom. I haven’t really shared this with anyone, but I feel like I can share this with you all because we’re a family. My anxiety is back, not horribly, and it technically never left. Sometimes I need space, not necessarily physical space but mental space. I need to find room in my mind to breathe and not be so anxious. I have my ways of doing this, I can share in another post.

I’ve been under a lot of pressure and it feels like every second I’m working on something. I haven’t cried in a long time, I’ve taken refuge in laughter. but with all of this pressure and anxiety good things have come along as well. I’m figuring out who I am, I have a long way to go just like everyone else in this world, but I’m making progress.

I get to spend more time with Mr. Not Ready this weekend, and I’m excited because there is something new in my life, and I’m growing my friend group. I need to take time to work on my anxiety this weekend, and just relax, I need to fight off the energy vampires. I need to block out the negativity and focus on my sanity. Sometimes we get caught up in life and forget to breathe. I’ve always enjoyed being alone, it helps clear my mind, but I’m happy that I can spend time with someone that will make me laugh.

I didn’t realize how far into the semester I am. I think that has a lot to do with my anxiety. I have a lot of responsibilities, and people look at me as a leader. This is all so new to me and I’m definitely feeling the difference. Sometimes I wish I had a cottage in Ireland, with all of my books, tea, and thoughts. I would write without other obligations and distractions and warm myself with a cozy blanket and a cup of Lyons tea.

I’m not sure what else to tell you. I’m trying really hard guys to work through my anxiety, and I won’t stop. I love you all so much.

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