Summer is coming to an end and school starts next week. I can feel myself becoming anxious. I only had three anxiety attacks this whole summer. Given the fact I was having them back to back daily throughout the past school semesters I think three is a great number. I’m still learning how to control my anxiety and depression. It’s hard but I’m working at it. Since school is in the near future my anxiety has been quite high. I haven’t had an attack, just a lot of anxiety. I’ve been trying to keep myself busy with tricks my therapist told me. It’s helping but the knots in my stomach are still there, I know this is normal for a lot of people.
I talked to Mr. Gorgeous Eyes about things that were filling my mind and we had a good talk, a great talk. I’m not good with changes, most people with anxiety have this issue. Even though change can be good at times, the fear of the unknown and lack of control are still very present. There is one thing that is changing in my life and that is my spirituality. I believe in God. I was “raised” Baptist. But religion wasn’t a mandatory thing in my life. I was free to believe in whatever I wanted to. I was free to explore the many beliefs in this world. Christianity was just a stepping stone. I still hold the Christian faith near to me, because at times in my life it has comforted me, as most religions do for people.
For the past year and a half I have been very influenced by the Wiccan beliefs. I don’t label myself as Wiccan at all actually, as I’m learning you can be a “witch” without being a Wiccan. The word witch may freak some of you out, and that’s okay. I actually don’t consider myself a witch either. I just consider myself an explorer. There is a huge difference between black magic and “good magic”. I would never even consider using black magic, and you shouldn’t either, bad karma comes from that. I only use what I learned to better myself, and make myself less anxious and surprisingly it has helped. But you can’t just jump into these things you have to study hard. You have to understand what “magic hygiene” is. I’ll never post spells or anything else you may try, simply because I’m still learning a lot and these things are for you to want to explore, not for me to shove into your life.
Mr. Gorgeous Eyes isn’t Wiccan either, he believes in God and is open to many things the world offers us. I’m happy he came into my life when I’m starting to learn more about the things I’ve been learning about. He’s been a great listener and has given me a lot of things to study. This may be too much for a lot of you, but I will never feel like I’m better than someone else solely based off my beliefs, as I don’t think you should either. There are 5,000 and more accounted for religions in this world and I’m just trying to find what I feel comfortable with and I’m happy to say that I’m putting together my own way of thinking. Gorgeous Eyes came into my life by serendipity and I’m happy he did, it’s nice to talk to someone who is not judgmental but understanding.
I don’t mind sharing this journey with you all. I just ask for you to keep an open mind and open heart. If you have questions please free to ask them. I plan on diving into tarot cards soon and I don’t mind sharing that journey with you all. And of course I still use my crystals and I also don’t mind sharing that.