I’m still learning a lot about my sexuality and being confident in my decisions. With past boyfriends I often felt like I had to do things because it was what you did in a relationship, relationships don’t mean making only one person happy. It’s about being comfortable on both sides. I used to have a screwed up perception that if I wasn’t with a boy in a relationship and wanted to only be physically be with him, it made me “easy” or a “slut”. In high school me and other girls consistently refereed to each other as sluts and whores, or easy.
“Easy” is only a word given to make women feel ashamed of exploring their sexuality. If you’re giving your consent and feel 100% comfortable with your partner then that’s completely okay, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you.
Even after embracing my feminism and sexuality I still have those awful thoughts. A few months ago I was with a guy who I was interested in and even though nothing sexual happened I still asked myself “does he think I’m easy?”. Granted he turned out to be completely different and we haven’t talked since then. But there is no reason to punish myself for exploring what I want to explore when I give my consent and I feel comfortable. There is also no reason to make other women feel ashamed of embracing their own sexuality. We have to get the terms “easy” and “slut” out of our vocabulary. We’ve all done it and we’re still learning so it’s okay.
We have to stop putting each other down. Sex is natural. Consented sex is amazing. If you want to do it go for it with no regrets and no questions on if you are “easy” or a “slut” because those words don’t exist.