I’m learning everyday that suppressing my emotions is unhealthy. I have gotten better at not being afraid to feel, but it’s a slow process. If someone hurts me I should tell them. If someone makes me happy I should tell them. Regardless if it’s for a night, day, week, month, or year. If that person makes me feel a certain way I should let them know without fear. My fear of expressing my emotions comes from my fear of being rejected. Rejected in the sense that someone will use my vulnerability against me. I don’t want someone to use my feelings as their personal weapon against me. I have a voice, I have a mind, and if something is weighing on me, good or bad, I should let it out freely. Getting close to people still scares me, I just don’t trust a lot of people, and when I do get close to someone, they let me down.
For spring break I’ll be going to New York City to meet Stacy Igel designer of Boy Meets Girl. I’m very excited. Ever since I was a little girl New York was my dream destination. I’m so excited that right now I have no words to finish writing this post.