I don’t know if I will finish this post before the clock strikes midnight, but if I happen to type fast I just want to let you guys know that I am extremely thankful for you all. Happy (maybe late) Thanksgiving.
Dinner was great I spent it with my Mom, sister, my friend Karen, and her little sister Paulynn. The food was great thanks to my mom and sister, and the company was better. But the night before I had an awful anxiety attack. I actually thought my sugar was low because I was having the symptoms. Oddly enough after checking my sugar, it was perfectly fine. I drank juice, ate crackers and cheerios but I still felt the same way. I realized that my sugar was fine and that the culprit was an anxiety attack. I sobbed and cried hysterically on my bedroom floor.
I’ve been sad lately, maybe with all the time on my hands during my vacation. I feel unattractive because of the weight my insulin is putting on me. And most of all I miss Ice King, a lot. But of course we know that I only miss the idea of him. The idea of who I want him to be. Holiday season is hard because I can only think about the plans we made for the holidays.
I feel lonely, and tired, and angry, and ugly.
During my anxiety attack I asked what was wrong with me, why I couldn’t just be happy? Why was it so hard to be happy? I have to be honest, this was the worst attack I’ve ever had.
I’m still working on myself, and helping my anxiety. Thanksgiving was nice, and whatever anxiety I had the night before was washed away by the love and understanding I felt on Thanksgiving.
Now it’s Black Friday. Do me a favor and buy yourself something nice.