It’s late, sorry.
I know that I have type 2 diabetes, and anxiety. Do the two go hand in hand? Yes.I left my class early today( yesterday,whatever.) I wanted to cry, but I didn’t. I asked to be excused because my sugar was high. Really freaked me out. I was diagnosed 5 years ago, I was a senior in high school, and a lot more awkward than I am now. You know what really sucks? when I was that 17 year old girl, I was starting to be okay with my wheelchair, but as we all know, life likes to drop really big shit on you at the worst times.
You know what else sucks? I’m still trying to figure this sickness out. I just recently found out that anxiety causes your blood sugar to rise, ever hear of flight or fight? So let me map this all out to you. I have anxiety and diabetes. When I’m extremely anxious( which happens every week), my sugar gets high. When my sugar gets high I get anxious. So who can see my dilemma?
Last year, the day before Halloween I got really sick, something called diabetic ketoacidosis. It’s hard to explain, but what happens is that your sugar gets high, and your body gets confused. It thinks it’s helping you, but it’s seriously hurting you. It hurt me so bad I was in the ICU for a week, and another few days in general population. It sucked, and cried a lot. I still cry a lot. It’s going to be a year soon, and I just want someone to hold me that day, to tell me I’m better now.A lot of people don’t get it. I feel alone sometimes, mostly because I don’t feel understood.
You know what helps me with that? Writing. I wrote a whole novel.But it’s gone, because my flash drive decided it wanted to end it’s job as a flash drive. It had one job. Everything is gone. My resume, my poetry, my novel.
Luckily I sent it out to a literary agent( my first choice) and got rejected. Do you know that me getting rejected by that literary agent was the best part of my week, probably life. I was so happy. He said that he considered my novel, but eventually decided to pass on it. This wasn’t an automatic email either! He wrote this,he meant it. This agent works with the best writers in the world, the best, and he read my manuscript (an assistant probably did, but let’s just say it was all him). I was so happy. I’m going to fix it, and rewrite the ending (because my flash drive SUCKS!)
Even though I’m apart of awesome clubs, with amazing people. I still feel alone. Maybe it’s an inside thing. I’m going to ask my counselor next week.