“22 is basically the only age you can use as leverage. Meaning that because it’s the exact age between life-as-you-know-it and what will later be known as ‘real life’ (that’s scientifically proven, of course), people expect you to make some mistakes. Mistakes like overcooking a pot-roast or dating someone who may not be right for you. And that’s okay, because heck, you’re just 22.”- Shanelle Kaul
Two years into my twenties, and I’m stilling trying to figure things out. But you know what? I’m okay with that. I had a conversation with my best friend Morgan the other day, and I figured out that your twenties are for making mistakes, and messing up. Dealing with my recent break up is hard, mostly because it came out of the blue. Even though I have nights where I think I will never have anyone in my life, I know deep down there is someone for me. Men come and go, then you meet the love of your life.
I think this breakup is hard because it was my first adult relationship. I don’t want to give out too many details about it, because it’s not fair to him. But this blog, is MINE. I am allowed to post whatever I feel,especially if it will help me feel better. But in this situation I think it would be for best if I kept him private, so I will refer to him as “Ice King”.
Now, back to being 22. This won’t be my last love, and possibly not my last heartbreak. All that matters is that I’m learning, and growing. I learn new things about myself everyday. For example, I hate it when people talk down to me, or make feel like I’m not allowed to express my emotions. I know now in the future that those are qualities in a guy that I don’t want, even if they are doing it unintentionally.
I also know that I have to build my love, and happiness up for myself. I asked Morgan during our conversation “Remember how happy I was before Ice King, seems like such a long time ago”? The thing is, I was happy, I was recently getting over being admitted into the hospital. I realized that self happiness was important. Then him and I began talking as friends, and things grew into something spectacular , things were great, and then they were not. I was left with a broken heart, and a bitter outlook on men( which has a lot to do with my lack of a father). But that’s not me, when I’m happy, I’m happy. I know how it feels now, and will do whatever it takes to get back to it.
As for Ice King, I believe this is a lesson for him also. The 20’s are confusing, and just like me he’s looking for happiness. I’m probably his least favorite person, but he was just one of the many lessons I will learn in my 20’s. When things were good between us, things were great. But it had to end, it wasn’t meant to be. Morgan gave me the best advice. “The best way to deal with anything dealing with relationships is to first become happy with yourself and to love yourself. Otherwise things will never truly work out with someone else.” With that information I will leave you all to live your 20’s just like me.
What have you learned in your twenties?